Practice at mark making.

Finding frustration appearing in the finished drawings. My tension is conveying more about me than the subject.

I am very unfamiliar with drawing and it has been the most difficult module for me. I approach making marks with an intensity of feeling that can be difficult to remain in control of. I do all my drawing on screen directly with a touch pen and doing it this way makes varying the density of marks almost impossible. The line consistency is the same and as a result the drawings don't have the subtly of feeling I would wish for.

I find drawing tremendously difficult because it is so about deeply looking and connecting with something, which one doesn't always feel able to do. Writing poetry is similar for me, when it arrives it is an intense experience and hugely draining. More often it never arrives at all and one just plods along and feels unable to access the places that made what one considered good work previously possible.

I have found drawing to be a similar challenge. As Barbara Hepworth said drawing is about what one feels in one's body and this isn't always accessible for many many reasons. It isn't always possible through all of the other elements of life to communicate through clear channels and produce a satisfactory emotional response.

To me this is a scribble and highlights a modicum of frustration with the process. I think it says more about me as the artist drawing than it did about the subject. There was not this tension yet it seems that tension in me comes out in the speed and repetitive nature of the lines which doesn't say anything about the subject as they were.

I keep practicing but do feel frustrated with not being able to relax into the module and mark making process. I work purely digitally so this is something I now need to look at if I am to progress with the drawing module as it feels the inability to vary the mark enough is degrading my ability to respond emotionally. It is a big challenge as I am wholly unused to drawing on paper but I will keep practicing.



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